That should be the mantra which reminds us of the most challenging yet satisfying job we perform every single day.
Once I gave birth to my son I went back to work full-time. I was a complete work-out-of-the-home-mom with a great career. As I dropped my son off at day-care, my days were suddenly filled with feelings of abandonment and worry. I had a brutal commute and left my house (with baby in tow) pulling out of my driveway by 6:20 am to get to work by 8. I felt the daily pressure of trying to make it to work on time while sitting in traffic and was always under the stress of having to take time off when my son got sick. I performed my long “day” job and returned to my “other” full-time job as mom by night…
When I walked through the door close to 5 pm, dinner was waiting to be cooked, the family was ready to be fed and then there was the clean up that would ensue, bath time to be taken care of and the rest of the all-inclusive routine. But wait, didn’t I deserve at least five minutes to play with my kid since I didn’t see him all day? It was hard. Harder than I could have ever imagined.
Then I got pregnant with Baby #2. When my daughter was born I took a very long maternity leave. It was at this time that I became the complete stay-at-home-mom. Suddenly, my very long days were filled with an unsettled crying baby and a very active toddler who needed me to entertain him every five minutes…
I missed earning a paycheck. I missed the conversations at work. I longed to have more stimulating conversation over lunch other than baby talk. Actually, I missed sitting down at the table longer than five minutes to finish my lunch in peace. As much as I loved being home with my kids I felt isolated and alone. It was hard. Harder than I could have ever imagined.
Currently, I am a work-at-home mom and I constantly juggle the time with my kids and the appropriate time to fulfill my job. I like getting a paycheck again and occupying my mind with a position I am passionate about. But I do not have a Nanny or a sitter so in essence, I work in addition to being a full-time mom…
I juggle conference calls in between naps and play-dates and I respond to the majority of my emails at snack time. I miss my work wardrobe and those face-to-face conversations with my co-workers. And although I love the opportunity to see my kids’ faces everyday, this comes with a price and tons of sacrifice. I rarely have any “down” time since my life is dedicated to taking care of the kids and maintaining a job. It is hard. Harder than I could have ever imagined.
I don’t care if you are a work-out-of-the-home-mom, a stay-at-home-mom, or a work-at-home mom, nobody has it any easier.
We are moms, Theta Moms, and EVERY mom is a hard working mom. Period.
Amen, Mama! I wrote about this not long ago, too. Parenting is not for sissies. Having support makes all the difference.
I could have sworn you were talking about my life! Too funny.
I too had my first…worked full time…came home to the same feelings.
Had my second….became a SAHM. Loved it but longed for the same as you.
A year later started to work from home (which I still do 11 years later). It brings many challenges. Not the perfect life some may think it is. It IS work. But, I remind myself daily that I do have the best of both worlds (even though it is not easy!).
I totally agree. I am a full-time working mom, and long to be a SAHM, but I know that’s just as tough. I thought I would be able to have a clean(er) house and health(ier) meals if I was staying home, but when I was on maternity leave with my second, I got the same amount done (or less) than I did when I went back to work. There just aren’t enough hours in the day. And there is mom-guilt no matter what you do. All we can do is do our best, and pray that God helps our kids glean the good stuff from us, and shake off the rest!
I could not agree with you more. I still remember a coworker calling me when my first born was about 6 weeks old. She asked how motherhood was and all I could say at the time was that I was completely shocked at how difficult it was. I remember saying that I had juggled 2 jobs and college simultaneously and taking care of an infant was actually proving more difficult than that had been. What an eye opener. I have worked full time, part time and been off as a mom and agree that ALL aspects of motherhood are just plain strenuous. Wouldn’t trade it for the world though! Enjoyed the post, Thanks!
Love this post x 100!
Love the way you are inclusive of ALL moms.
Love the way you don’t pass judgement.
Love the way you take a 360 view of the situation.
Love the way I hear your ‘theme song’ resonating in many of your posts: “These are days…to remember…”
So true! I could go on and on about this topic. Good moms are the hardest working people on the planet. And the reason we don’t run the world from a visible stand point(yet) is because we have been too busy raising the people that do!
I’m a work out-of- home mom, and yup – it hard!
Thank you for this! I think as moms we will always question if what we are doing is not only best for us, but also best for our children and have doubt in what ever decision we make… I love being able to stay at home with my children and wouldn’t trade it for the world, but there are some days…
This post was just what I needed today!
It’s so true. We all work so hard.
I am a mother and simultaneously a full time nanny for two other kids, and people are always telling me I have it easy… Easy because I can work and not have to put my son in daycare.
Yes, that is a beneficial situation.
But, easy?
Stay strong, Mamas!
Hardest and best job in the world. Amen.
I kind of followed the same path you did, but with only one child. From working out of the home with a pretty cool career that required a lot of travel, to closer to home career, to stay-at-home mom, to work from home mom.
And you nailed it.
It’s all tough. All of us, no matter where you are in that spectrum, have to compromise. We all feel guilty, we all wish we could do more, be better, be everything.
And we all deserve a break from the guilt. You’re doing great moms!!!
My experience has been as varied as yours, and I have to second your sentiments!! Mothering is hard and we need each other.
Amen Heather! We are all hard working moms and no matter what our situation motherhood is 24/7. I too have been both in home and out of home and both are beautiful some times and totally suck at others!
We moms rock!
Wow..it’s like you wrote about my life. I worked full-time with my first son and oh, the guilt! Then, I actually “quit” but my work let me work from home part-time. That was hard and often I felt like I wasn’t good at my job or being a mom but rather sucked at both which I don’t like doing, EVER. With the birth of my second son, I quit my job and I’m going through the whole miss-the-paycheck, people, lunch, going to the bathroom ALONE thing right now… so glad I found your site/community! Added my listing, and your button. Working on the tweet, but laptop battery is about to die
Have a great day!
That’s right!
I too went back to work full-time after I had my daughter and I felt guilty that I loved being at work so much! I managed to then negotiate with my employer so that I could work from home a few days a week but juggling the demands of a baby and the demands from work is incredibly difficult.
Perfectly spoken. I have to send this out to so many women I know. It’s all hard…
Thank you for an excellent post.
This is so TRUE! Love this post!!! It is so hard at times but being a mother is the most rewarding job EVER!
Life as a parent is hard! I didn’t know one could be everything and feel so neglected at the same time.
Amen! We are all very hard-working! The difference is in the types of challenges we face….SAHMs have to deal with immense stress and struggle to find time for themselves. WOHMs have to deal with immense stress and struggle to balance the time they have between work and home. It’s hard work!
Yes, yes, and yes. As I get ready to go back to work next week I have been thinking alot about this. I am excited to be working again–to feel challenged, inspired, dedicated to the students I teach. But I also dread it. The long days, the rush of the late afternoon to make dinner and give Principessa a bath— and then the few hours of quiet time once she goes to sleep—where hopefully I will be able to write–oh right, or be a communicative wife. It is hard— for each one of us, regardless of the title.
Well said! It is hard and we all do the best job we can! I have a similar post up about “Magnificent Mom Moments” those moments when you feel like you shine as a Mom – we have to remember all those moments too:)
Seriously awesome post! Thank you for including all moms in that. I just wish now we can get the husbands to understand that…think that might be too much for them to handle though. LOL.
This is such a great post! I work LOOONNGGG hours during the school months, but then am stay-at-home during the summer. And through all of that? I also work from home. All I did was add a little boy to the mix, but holy COW did it get difficult!
This is a great reminder for anyone who thinks the grass is greener. It is all the same crunchy, but it’s OUR crunchy!
Beautifully said! I couldn’t agree more. I actually have a pretty sweet deal with my work, where I work at the office three days a week and work from home two days a week. I even get to bring Q into my office sometimes. But there is no easy way when it comes to being a mom. Even though I’m thankful for the flexibility, I’m still exhausted. But I wouldn’t trade it. I love doing it all.
When I became a manny, I was looking to feel more like a parent. But I realize I will never compare to a mom or dad until I actually have a kid of my own. I admire you moms.
What a great post. It is so nice to see from someone who has experienced each role as a mother that each one is hard within itself. One is not better then the other and each has their struggles and victories. Sometimes those that have only been on one side or the other think their job is harder then the other. It is not harder, it is just a different kind of hard.
Heather… as usual, you express what we all feel so elegantly.
I am the mother of two little girls, work full time out of the house but aspire to be a work at home mom. I’m taking strides to get there – I own a Stroller Strides franchise and recently launched a WordPress website and blog buildout business. But, I still haven’t quit my day job, for financial reasons.
So now, instead of working 20 – 30 hours a week, I’m working 60 – 70 hours a week! The only way I’ll be able to get out of the full time job is to make the other businesses successful first. It is tough, but since IT IS WHAT I WANT, I do it with a smile and do my best to take a few moments for me. All this month, I’ve taken 45 minutes on Tuesdays and Thursdays to site down and read a book between the end of work and daycare pickup. It has been the most uplifting thing I’ve done in a long time!
Thanks for pointing out that whichever path a mom takes, it is a difficult path. For all those “other-halves” in our lives, this is probably the hardest message to relay.
I feel like I rambled… but I know you get it
Jaime,
Thanks so much for your thoughtful comment. And I get it. I TOTALLY get it.
xo
amen.
Haven’t commented in a while, but I still read you all the time….just wanted to say Hi…..
you said it all perfectly. nothing comes easily when you’re a mother. when it comes to work, it’s screwed if you do, screwed if you don’t. i don’t think i could handle a full-time job right now, but i’d be lying if i said i haven’t thought about looking for work outside the home. there’s so much to consider, whether i do or not. sigh.
Like you, I’ve been a working mom, a stay at home mom, and then a hybrid sort of mom. Which I like best but it isn’t any easier.
I wrote about the same kind of thing a while back. I think the post was something like “Another Working Day has Ended. Or Has it?” As moms, there IS no end to our workday. There may be sleep but who doesn’t go to bed worrying about what didn’t get done and what still has to be done.
Perfectly said. Can we make this a national movement or something? 😉
Such true words!
Oh Heather….this post just made me feel a bazillion times better about myself. I don’t know how working moms do it all, but sometimes I don’t know how I do it all, either! LOL. Thank you for this. I feel validated. You are awesome!
So very well said Heather… and SO SO SO true. I have pretty much followed the same path in Motherhood.
LOVE this! Great post! I just found your blog and am so glad I did! Can’t wait for more great posts!
Nora
I know that you wrote this post last week. But in the middle of my “harder than I could imagine” life, I didn’t get to it until now.
You are absolutely right. No matter what choice you make, no matter how much of your time is in the home or out of it, it is hard being a parent. Every mom is a working mom.
Love this post about how difficult parenting is and how it’s constantly a balancing act. That’s why I love when PCA™ members tell me how much time they save with the PCA – they have more time to spend with their family, and to sit down to a healthy dinner together again. That is truly what it’s all about! http://julieannerhodes.com/members